Old New Name

After a long ordeal of waiting and being lied to, I have finally received the form I needed to change my name back to my maiden name (on Saturday) and went to the social security office this morning to officially and legally change it. Exactly a month after the divorce was finalized. Somehow fitting, though I was very impatient in getting the form.

Next I need to meet with my recruiter to re-do paperwork, pack, and move back to Indiana for the month I’ll have left before going to BMT. It will be good to be back home and spend time with family. Last few times I’ve been home I was only there for a couple weeks at a time.

Whole New Direction

I have been MIA for quite some time now.  There are several reasons for that.  In December, my husband and I filed for divorce.  Due to that decision, I put enlisting in the Army on hold.  Since then, I’ve moved to Arizona.  On February 12th, I met with an Air Force recruiter.  She gave me a packet to fill out and I returned it on the 25th.  Today I scheduled my MEPS visit for a week from tomorrow.  Due to tracking all my medical documentation down for the Army last year, I had everything I needed to enlist into the Air Force and this process has been quite quick and seamless.

Since I last posted, I’ve lost weight (I’m now down to 135 lbs) and have maintained a consistent running schedule.  Today I ran my fastest 2 mile run in forever (17:53) but still need to increase my pace.  I think I will add in a day of interval running and see how I progress with that.

I’m racing the clock to ship to basic before my 28th birthday.  I turn 27 in July so I do have time but depending on the AFSC that I get/ship date/and how long I’m in DEP, I could be cutting it close.  But I’m glad how quickly things have progressed so far.  The Army recruiter that I had in CA did not seem all that interested in doing all he could to get me in but my current recruiter, despite my age and the time constraint, seemed as though she would help me to the best of her ability.  I’m very happy so far with my decision.   

ACL Operative Report: Check

While at the pharmacy picking up my script for the mini pill (a prerequisite to even consider getting Nexplanon implanted), I decided I’d check with the medical records desk to see if they had received my ACL documents from the hospital that had performed the surgery.  They had not.  But today I received a call that they had received them.  I was super excited because the packet contained one of the pieces I needed in the enlisting puzzle.  All I need now is to have my ortho exam on the 1st, obtain the xrays I had done over a week ago, and take it all to my recruiter for him to send off to MEPS.

It’s funny because the packet even has a patient status report where the doctor wrote that I was fit for military duty in 2008.  I suppose that is no longer valid though, just like every other document I had from that time.

Today I have also been planning our very belated honeymoon.  I’m only like 19 months late.  But it’s normal for military couples to not have a honeymoon right after the wedding.  And where C is stationed, he’s only really able to take leave certain times of the year due to the training here.

We’re going to spend a week in San Diego and I’m trying to pack as many activities as I possibly can since we don’t leave post all that often due to the time and distance it takes to get anywhere worth driving.  SeaWorld reinstated their military passes (1 free day for military and up to 3 dependents).  I’m pretty excited since when I checked in May when we were there for the ball, I don’t believe they offered it then.  C wants to go to LegoLand since he’s a kid at heart and I am looking into a wine tasting tour that takes us along the coast in a train.  We’re also planning on catching as many movies in theater as we can.  We don’t leave post for a movie much because we don’t like to leave Luna kenneled for longer than 5 hours or so and it takes an hour and a half just to get to the theater.

Today has been a good day. Productive. Just not in the exercising sense.

Venting, Ranting & Needing Support

I have become dissatisfied with myself, my lack of working out, and my eating habits.  I’ve decided I need to sit down and write out very clear goals with ways to achieve these goals.  I need to set a schedule and stick to it.  I could really use some hints and tips on how to do this.  Post them in the comment section.  It’d be much appreciated.  I’m just tired of being lazy and not getting enough accomplished.

I’ve lost my motivation and it’s probably totally due to the fact that I feel like everything is at a standstill in terms of enlisting.  I went on usajobs.gov today to check out the jobs that are in my area for shits and grins and half of them are for commissary associate or GS-7+ (mostly GS-11) jobs that I am in no way, shape, or form qualified for.  Left me feeling rather depressed about my possible civilian career and furthered my resolve to join the Army to gain some sort of experience/qualification.

Support.  I could really use a lot of that.  My husband has been more or less supportive but he keeps coming back to the idea of me getting a “real” job instead of enlisting.  He’d rather keep me close than to have to go through a long distance relationship again.  Other than him and a few random strangers and people on the interwebs, not many people know of my plans.  If I had it my way, I would rather not tell my family because my dad and older sister would completely freak out.  Again.  I’m definitely struggling with wanting to do what makes me happy vs doing what I know would make everyone else happy.  And I know, believe me I know, that I have to live my life how I want to and not how others would prefer I do.  If I dictated my life solely based on my family’s wishes, I’d still be living in Indiana.

Even though my mom is from California and my dad Ohio, I’m the first of their children to move away.  My older sister lives five minutes from my dad’s house.  That would drive me crazy.

It frustrates me that my sister is pregnant with her second child (seems like everyone and their mom is currently pregnant, but I digress) and she expects me to come home for the birth.  I get it, she’s excited and all but I don’t know how to make her see that it is HER child, not mine.  One of the reasons she wants me there is because for her first, nearly 4 years ago, I drove from college to be there (only about a 45 minute drive) and I took pictures and video and then created a dvd for her.  Of course others had taken pictures (I would say predominantly myself and my mom) but I was the only one to take video of my niece being held and whatnot.

Part of me wants to appease her and be there but if I ever get into the Army and I’m gone for training late October/early November, there’s not much I can do about being there.  She’s the type of person that gets pissed off easily and holds grudges like no other.  When I had told my dad I was enlisting in the Marines in 2008, he cried.  It made me feel like a selfish, horrible person.  I know that I wasn’t selfish because if I was selfish, I would have left and become a Marine instead of being where I am today.

I still can’t believe that around that time, my dad had admitted if he had had a son, he would have been fine with him going into the military.  But three girls?  No way would any of them do that!  I just need to be true to myself, do what makes me happy, and find a way to be the bearer of bad news in the best possible way.  Anyone have suggestions on how to do that?  It’s likely going to have to be done via snail mail or email.  If I tried to do it over the phone, I can almost guarantee my dad would hang up on me.  Wouldn’t be the first time.  The only way I figure to do it is to do it like ripping a band-aid off: fast, to the point and to not beat around the bush.

I am nearing on my 26th birthday (46 days) and yet I still feel like a child that needs her dad and older sister’s approval.  I guess it’s not approval I’m looking for so much as support.  I would like support for doing something that I can be proud of.  I made them happy by graduating college but I didn’t feel much accomplishment for doing that.  I barely wanted to be there to begin with.  And there I sound ungrateful.  I have to appreciate and be grateful for my parents putting me through college.  I just feel like I was pushed into it before I even knew what I wanted to major in.  But I don’t look at my degree and have an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness.

Alright, well I need to end this post because I have rambled far too long, venting about my personal problems; things I can, and should, change.  This post had little direction and probably comes off incredibly petty.  But it’s what’s on my mind right now.  I guess it’s best to wait before telling too many people my plans before I know if I can even enlist.  That way I don’t worry (piss off) people needlessly.

Why Being A Female Recruit Sucks

Sometimes I just hate being a female.  Why?  Because our bodies go crazy once a month, at the very least.  This month my body decided to go extra crazy and give me a scare.  Due to being somewhat absent-minded, especially about trivial things such as knowing when my last period was, I track mine on my phone using an app.  I watched the estimated week of menses come and go.  In that time, I kept thinking about how I’d lost my chance to do what I’ve wanted to do the past 5 or 6 years.  If I had gotten pregnant, there would be no way I’d ever be enlisting.  I’ll already be dual military.  Wouldn’t want to be dual-mil and have dependents.

I’m relieved that I’m not.  I want to wait about 5 years before having kids.  I know that would put me at 30-31 years old but I just don’t feel ready.  When I was worrying, I was mentally preparing myself for the possibility that my dream was coming to an end.  Guys don’t have to worry about their bodies being taken hostage by some unknown being.

I’m kind of tired of the worry and stress of all that.  Even though I hate taking medicine that changes my body’s hormone levels, I think I need to get back on it.  Except I don’t want to go on the pill again.  I got off the last one I was on because it was making my hormones go haywire likely due to me not taking it as regularly as I ought to have.  If the clinic on post provides it, I think I want to go on Nexplanon.  It’s inserted in the arm and lasts up to 3 years.  Hopefully there wouldn’t be any issues with having it inserted if/when going to BCT.  I’ll be able to find that out tomorrow at my appt, probably.

onlyliveonce

MOS Shopping

Decided I should probably start looking into various MOS’s so I am ready when the time comes to pick one.  Now that I have my AFQT percentile score and line scores (Mission Accomplished), I am able to see what I qualify for.  I am also looking into Officer since so many people have asked me about it.  But it seems like I don’t qualify to do any jobs that interest me.  Several are closed to women to begin with and then the medical ones require that particular degree.  We shall see.

Also, I think I may stop posting my workout logs.  Or compile the week’s logs into one post at the end of the week.  I keep all of that stuff in an actual paper journal so there isn’t much reason to post them here.  Unless people like seeing them.  Who knows.

Anyone have any favorite quotes that motivate you (that I haven’t already used in previous posts)?  I draw blanks, have to google some, and haven’t seen a ton I like lately.

changeoften